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comfort in

My friend Tamara Tomić-Vajagić once sent me this guide to not saying the wrong thing.

It’s spectacularly simple: comfort in, dump out.

Wes Bausmith / Los Angeles Times

Image: Wes Bausmith / Los Angeles Times

The person in the center ring can say anything she wants to anyone, anywhere. She can kvetch and complain and whine and moan and curse the heavens and say, Life is unfair” and Why me?” That’s the one payoff for being in the center ring.

Everyone else can say those things too, but only to people in larger rings.

I use it all the time: which circle do I understand myself to be in at this time? Who or what is at the centre?

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